Smurfward Elric
by VioletWingedPerfection
Summary: Takes place early in the series. What if the Colonel got a little too carried away with his short jokes?


My friend Mary asked me to write this fan fiction. And I am because I'm just that nice! Anyway, I know that this story might be a little unrealistic for the early 1900's, but try not to let it bother you, cause I couldn't have written it otherwise. So enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer-I don't own FMA, and I don't own the Smurfs

This story takes place just after Ed got his State Certification.

Edward Elric, the newly titled Fullmetal Alchemist, was in the mess hall, playing with his new State Alchemist silver watch. He liked clicking shut with a snap, and then opening it, it made him feel important, especially since he was balancing on the back to legs of his chair and had his legs on the table. He didn't even notice the Lieutenant Colonel Hughes come up behind him.

"Ed!" Maes Hughes yelled in his ear, and watched as Ed lost his balance and tumble to the ground.

"Holy!" Edward picked himself off the ground, "Lieutenant, please, little warning next time?" Edward straightened his red jacket.

Hughes chuckled and cuffed him on the shoulder, "Sorry, but the Colonel wants a word with you."

"Okay" Ed put his watch back in his black pants and followed Maes into Roy Mustang's office.

The raven-haired Colonel was sitting expectantly at his desk, waiting for them.

"Ah, Maes, thank you very much." Mustang got up and nodded at Hughes, "I'll take it from here."

The Lieutenant Colonel smiled, winked at Ed and left.

Roy Mustang smirked at the young boy, that annoying smirk that Ed had come to despise already, and said "So, Fullmetal, the youngest ever State Alchemist, huh?"

"Yeah, that's right." Ed said warily, "What of it?"

But Mustang wasn't listening, he was still mumbling to himself while looking Ed over, "And probably the smallest one too…."

Edward felt himself get red with anger, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT AN ANT WOULD DRAWF HIM?"

Mustang chuckled, "Whoa, this one has a temper. Calm down Ed, I have something for you."

"Huh?"

Roy reached into his desk and took out several small, blue things. "Here we are." He lined them up on the desk, and Edward leaned to take a closer look.

"What the hell are these, Mustang?"

Roy laughed, "They're smurf figurines!"

"And smurfs would be…"

These cool blue guys that live in mushrooms! I'm surprised you haven't heard of them yet! They're all the rage in Central! They even have a theme song! Listen!"

Mustang took a record player out from under his desk, and placed a record on it, soon the office was filled with this:

"La la lala la la, sing a happy song! La la lala la la, smurfs the whole day long!"

Edward put his hands over his years and wailed, "Turn it off please!"

Mustang just gave a wicked grin and just turned it up more, "Isn't it fantastic Ed?" He shouted over the "lalalas" "In fact, I can just see you as one of them, colored blue and living under mushrooms!" The Colonel shouted with laughter, "That is such a great image!"

Edward was turning red with anger, so had to leave before he went alchemy on the Colonel's ass and got in major trouble his first week. "Wow, you're a violent smurf, aren't you?" Mustang's said, and his laughter followed him all the way down until he turned the corner and almost ran straight into Alphonse.

"Brother?" Al looked at Ed's face, which was still red with suppressed anger, "Are you okay?"

Edward didn't want to admit that Mustang's short jokes got to him, not he just shook his head and said, "No, I'll see you later Al." And walked off.

Edward hoped the whole smurf thing would blow over eventually, but Mustang had the most annoying way of popping up wherever he was, and with a portable record player too! For example, Ed would be walking past a tree with Alphonse, and Mustang would pop out, holding the portable record player and smirking that undeletable smirk while the smurf's annoying song would pound itself into Ed's head.

Soon it was a joke all through Central. "You can always tell when the Fullmetal Alchemist is coming." People would laugh with each other, "He has his own soundtrack!"

Even Alphonse, Ed's sweet younger brother, laughed along with them, but whenever Ed tried to complain about the music, Al would tell his older brother "Oh, lighten up Ed! It's just a joke!" And make Edward sound like he was making a big deal about nothing.

Just when Edward wasn't sure how much more he could take, the Leutianaent Riza Mustang got sick of that "stupid blue man song" as she called it, and one day took her pistol and blasted both the record and the records players to bits.

Edward was very grateful to the Leutienat, even though she insisted (with a smile) that she only did it because it was giving her a headache and distracting the Colonel from his work.

But ever since the smurf incident, sometimes when Edward passes the Colonel in the hallway, or by his office, he can hear the faint wistling of the dreaded "lalas"

So, did you guys like it? It's completely weird, and completely random, and so completely my BFF Mary! I have her to thank for my inspiration for most of my stories! Thanks girl 

Honey and berries, Jenni


End file.
